


The Grand Walk Out

by VampireHydeFTW



Category: Kamijo (Musician) RPF, Moi Dix Mois
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-03-07 16:31:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13438773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VampireHydeFTW/pseuds/VampireHydeFTW
Summary: The true story of how Juka, Kazuno and Tohru escaped Mana’s evil clutches and why K choose to stay.





	The Grand Walk Out

**Author's Note:**

> This story was written for comedic purposes. No offence is meant to any of the characters involved.

Once upon a time there was a person named Mana, who possessed the body of a man and the face of a woman. He played guitar on stage but never said a word. One day his band, Malice Mizer, split up and he was left all alone for he was mean and egotistical and had no other friends. Knowing he couldn’t continue his music career without some more band members, he went out and picked the four most beautiful Lolita’s he could find. One by one he slept with these girls until all four were pregnant with his for sons. Injecting various hormones into their wombs and conducting various biological experiments, he was soon granted with four young men to be his band mates. Using advanced Japanese technology, they were given the musical skills they needed to fill the missing spaces in his band and so Moi Dix Mois was formed.

His oldest son was named Juka and was the vocalist of the band. He was courageous and kind but thanks to Mana’s meddling, had been given the brain of a dog and so was incredibly loyal but not that bright. The second son was named K and played guitar, just like his father. He had the brain of a snake and though he was smart and quick, he had no love for anyone. The third son was named Kazuno and played bass guitar. Kazuno had been given the brain of a pigeon and spent his days trying to find his way home, despite having no idea where that was. The fourth son was named Tohru and played drums. He had the brain of a deer and was easily scared.

One day the four sons were waiting for their father to finish in hair and makeup, something that could take up to sixteen hours, when a blond man rode in on a white horse.

“Who are you?” Juka asked, not sure if he knew this man.

“Please don’t hurt me!” Tohru cried, diving behind his drums, whilst Kazuno and K watched the blond man with curiosity.

“My name is Kamijo,” The blond announced, dismounting his horse. “I am also known as Prince Charming and the White Wizard. I have come to free you all.”

“Free us?” Kazuno asked.

“Your father’s meddling with your very DNA is wrong and though I cannot reverse your age, I can give back what he stole from you.” Kamijo proudly announced.

“What did father steal from us?” Juka asked.

“Your humanity,” Kamijo responded. “I shall give back the intelligence he stole from you Juka, then you shall understand for yourself. You were destined to be smart enough to defeat Mana and that you shall do.”

“I’m smart?” Juka asked sceptically. He’d always been the stupid one.

“Yes. Mana took your intelligence from you and so I shall give it back.” Kamijo announced.

“How?” Juka asked.

 

“I shall give you what you need through fan service!” Kamijo proudly announced and with that the two men kissed. Pulling back dazed, Juka looked around dimly for a while before his brain suddenly switched on. Suddenly he understood the evil his father had done and also how to escape his father’s wrath.

“Thank you Kamijo,” Juka said shyly, blushing at his saviour. Kamijo was really beautiful and he couldn’t help but feel attracted to him. Surely the feelings he had should be directed towards a woman? “What about my brothers?” Juka asked, trying to ignore what his heart was telling him.

“I’m getting to them.” Kamijo announced. “Tohru do you want to regain your stolen courage?”

“Of course I do!” Tohru exclaimed having decided earlier to trust the blond prince. “I’d do anything to not be scared anymore!”

“Then come perform fan service with me!” Kamijo exclaimed, offering his hand to the scared man. Nervously Tohru stood up and joined Juka. Grinding together for a moment, his courage suddenly returned and he smiled happily.

“I’m not scared any more!” Tohru exclaimed. “In fact, I feel brave. I can take on Mana! I’m better than him and now I have the confidence to use that to my advantage! Thank you Kamijo!”

“It’s my job to help you. Thanks aren’t necessary.” Kamijo responded, proudly tossing back his blond hair.

“Help me Kamijo!” Kazuno cried, after seeing how the prince had helped his two brothers. “Help me find my way home!”

“You are home,” K scoffed, annoyed. “This is where you were born and where you live. How can it not be your home?”

“You’re so mean!” Kazuno complained. “Kamijo help me. This isn’t my home. I know that!”

“You’re right. Your home is with your mother who misses you dearly.” Kamijo agreed.

“What fan service do I need to perform, to figure out where that is?” Kazuno asked.

“To find your way home you need help from Juka’s brain and Tohru’s courage,” Kamijo explained. “The three of you must perform fan service together.”

“But we’re brothers!” Kazuno exclaimed.

“Have you never heard of brotherly love?” Kamijo asked. “Go hug your brothers and your home’s location will come apparent to you.”

“I can do that.” Kazuno agreed as he hugged his two brothers in turn. Sure enough, the three brother’s bond revealed the location of the house which was his home.

“I know where our mothers are!” Kazuno exclaimed. “They’re living in a house on the other side of town!”

“That is your home and your brother’s home too,” Kamijo replied with a smile. “That is where the four of you will escape too.”

“What about K? What is he missing?” Juka asked Kamijo.

“You should know.” Kamijo replied with a smile.

“His heart?” Juka suggested. “He’s always been as cold as ice.”

“Who needs a heart?” K scoffed.

“Everyone needs love in their life.” Kamijo announced, as he wrapped his arms around an unimpressed K. As the two pulled apart, warmth seemed to spread through K’s body and he smiled evilly.

“I have found love!” K exclaimed proudly. “But it’s not for you, or my brothers. My love is for my father!”

“What!” Kazuno exclaimed in horror.

“You can’t be serious!” Tohru added.

“What did you expect?” K demanded. “We can’t all favour our mother! I am my father’s son in every way and I shall inform him of what you have done!” With that K departed and Kamijo smiled sheepishly at the three furious faces.

“What have you done to K!” Kazuno shouted.

“I gave him his heart. How was I to know his love belonged to his father? Even Mana didn’t know that,” Kamijo explained. “I can do no more for the three of you. Use your gifts to escape!”

“What you can’t leave us to face him alone!” Juka exclaimed horrified. “We need your magic!”

“No you need your brain and Tohru’s courage to escape, and then Kazuno shall show you the way to your new home. Don’t worry, your fate is to defeat this evil man, though you will not kill him. His fate is to have a house dropped on him, but that is a different story.”

“Kamijo wait!” Juka exclaimed, as the prince mounted his horse. “Please don’t leave! I want to be your friend!”

“I know.” Kamijo smiled knowingly. “Your fate is entwined with mine, don’t worry. You shall see me again.”

“Is that a promise?” Juka asked.

“It is.” Kamijo agreed, before galloping out of the building leaving the three brothers alone to face the wrath of their father and stepbrother.

“Look father! Look at what Kamijo has done!” K exclaimed, pointing at his brothers. Mana glanced at his three sons and frowned. They weren’t behaving any different than normal. Tohru was shaking, Kazuno looked lost and Juka was holding his mic upside down.

“They look no different.” Mana informed K, annoyed to be troubled by this.

“They’re faking it!” K exclaimed. “I saw Kamijo with my own eyes.”

“Juka what is 7 X 4?” Mana questioned.

“74” Juka answered, after a moment’s thought.

“Tohru come here.” Mana demanded.

“Why? Have I done something wrong?” A trembling Tohru asked, as he walked nervously towards his father.

“No, it’s ok. I’ve changed my mind,” Mana decided looking at his final son. “Kazuno where is your home?”

“I don’t know!” Kazuno exclaimed. “I can’t find it!” He added in tears.

“There is nothing wrong with my sons!” Mana exclaimed. “Juka is dumb, Tohru is a coward and Kazuno is confused about where he belongs.”

“But Mana!” K exclaimed, staring confused at his brothers.

“Do not disturb me again!” Mana snapped, as he headed back into hair and makeup.

“I know you’re faking it!” K shouted at his brothers.

“Of course we are.” Juka said with a grin.

“And now we’re going to leave!” Tohru exclaimed happily, as he skipped out from behind his drum kit.

“Home!” Kazuno said excited.

“No!” K snapped. “I shall stop you!”

“No you won’t,” Tohru announced. “Juka used his brains to trick Mana and now I shall use my courage to defeat you in a fight!”

“You? Fight me?” K scoffed.

“Yes!” Tohru proudly announced, as he raised his fists. Sending out a punch he hit a stunned K straight in the face. The punch was followed by a kick aimed between the legs and as K fell the three brothers ran for the door. They were free and thanks to the information in Kazuno’s brain, knew exactly where they needed to go. Home. Where their loving mothers waited for them.

A few months later Juka was sitting in the front garden of his new home writing lyrics, when he heard a car door slam shut. Looking up he saw his blond saviour stepping out of a black limo. Smiling happily, he stood up and ran to Kamijo.

“I’ve been waiting for you!” Juka exclaimed.

“I know but you needed to get used to being smart first,” Kamijo responded. “Only when you had become whole again could I visit you. It’s a rule I’m afraid.”

“So, I am a whole person now?” Juka asked.

“Yes,” Kamijo responded. “Look your hair has gone blond, just like your mothers!”

“Actually, I dyed it,” Juka admitted. “To look more like my hero.”

“I see,” Kamijo said smiling. “Tell me. Would you like to be a vocalist once more?”

“Of course I do!” Juka exclaimed and Kamijo smiled.

“In that case, you need to meet my friend Hizaki, but before that, I would like to spend some time with you myself.”

“That sounds great!” Juka exclaimed happily, as his feelings for Kamijo had only grown in the time they were apart.

“How about dinner?” Kamijo suggested. “I’ll pay, if you agree to be my date.”

“That sounds perfect!” Juka exclaimed happily and from that day on Juka and his brothers were always happy, for finally they were free to be their true selves, instead of the shadow-people Mana had turned them into.

As for Mana. Well as Kamijo predicted a house was dropped on him from the sky. But that isn’t for a few years yet and I’d hate to tell you the details. After all, that’s an entirely different story.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                


End file.
